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et cetera, et cetera, amen
20 most recent entries

Date:2010-02-02 22:49

I'm doing wonderfully...
even though I have to lay around for a year between graduation and graduate school...
even though grad school apps intimidate the hell out of me...

I have a wonderful husband, friends, and pets.

see me on facebook.

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Date:2009-11-05 12:06

This will be brief:

Had the wedding ceremony October 4th. Pictures on Facebook
Looking at Law Schools.
looking at MFA programs
torn between staying in alabama vs. moving out of the region.
Dog is good, cat is good.
life is good.

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Date:2009-04-12 22:42
Subject:Back from Camping
Mood: tired

Jack and I went on a camping trip to Horse Pens 40. Nothing huge, just an overnight stay with lots of s'mores, rocks, and Pabst. (check my facebook for pictures)

When we arrive back home, Katy enthusiastically greets us at the door, but we don't see Tilda. After unpacking the car, we start looking for her in earnest. We wander around our (small) house, calling her name and shaking her bag of cat food, but all to no avail.

It's been about twenty minutes and Jack is getting worried. He decides to look around outside just in case she managed to slip out when Rachel came to walk Katy. I open all of the doors, toss clothing out of hampers, squeeze into cabinets, but I still can't find her.

I look up the number of elan, Tilda's foster mom and "aunt" before we adopted the cat. Elan wishes me luck, but tells me that she doubts Tilda would wander very far. After I get off the phone with her, I call Jack for an update. Still no Tilda.

As I'm talking with Jack, another call comes in. It's elan and [Tilda's incarcerated original owner]'s mother, who fed Tilda while [former owner] was off doing things.

"She is a cham-pee-own hider," the mom assured me. "And so shy. Really, we could go weeks without seeing her."

Jack comes in and I hand him the phone. Relieved that the kitty is still in the house, I sit at my computer and try to relax.

Jack thanks the lady for her call. He then tells me an interesting tidbit from Tilda's immediate past:
"Tilda lived in the house with another cat. This cat was really old, but they were buddies. When elan's mom came to get them, she found that the other cat had died and Tilda was just sitting next to it. They'd been hiding."

So, apparently, one overnight trip can trigger psychological trauma for an abandoned cat. Next time, we'll board her.

She still hasn't emerged, though.

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Date:2009-03-09 00:24
Subject:Another Update.

I spend too much time on facebook, apparently.

I've been so behind this semester. I'm worried that I might need to take a medical or psych withdrawal. I don't know which would be worse: getting C's and below in my major, or taking a semester off for depression. God, that sounds so whiny.

Anyway, I am mostly on facebook now, which I update about once a week. Here, I seem to go in spurts. I'll check back in week or so.

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Date:2008-11-05 23:21
Subject:By the way...

After eight long years, we have a Democrat in the White House! 

I was jumping up and down, dancing and drinking cheap champagne at a gay couple's apartment.

Glory hallelujah.

I love voting.

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Date:2008-11-05 23:13
Subject:We're all he has

Schnauzer Love Rescue has been inundated with dogs. 

The evil bitch-demon-whore who adopts out animals without first vetting them will not give me a refund.  She referred to my Keifer as "unadoptable."

The bladder stone removal surgery will cost $250.

The rescue lady said that the cheapest quote she's ever gotten was $300--and that was with the rescue's discount.

So we're keeping Keifer.
And Jack might get a cat anyway.

We'll have to tighten the budget.  Any Xmas gifts might be hugs.

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Date:2008-11-01 12:23
Subject:Problems with Puppies
Mood: listless

We might have to get rid of Keifer.

I hate how that sounds. 

We might have to return him to the shelter.  If, however, some friends of ours can take him in, he will go to a nice big family with a nice big yard.

If, however, he doesn't get along with kids, we will have to return him to the shelter.

I hate giving up on anything, particularly sentient beings.  He is a good dog with severe house training issues stemming from bladder problems.  He was fine for about a week, and then it all came back. 

We have spent more on Keifer since August than we've spent on Katy since February 2007.
Speaking of whom, they don't get along.  They play sometimes, but mostly they just vie for dominance with Keifer winning.  They aren't "buddies."  They don't even notice when the other is gone.   And Katy bonded to us almost immediately.  Keifer is still just living here.

I hate giving up.  I don't want to, but Jack is at his wit's end.  I know that rescue dogs take time and nurturing etc. 

When do you have to accept that maybe you're not the best family for your dog?

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Date:2008-10-27 15:25
Subject:Looking Backwards

I'm out of notebook paper.  I knew that I had oodles in the closet, in old notebooks and binders.  College-ruled, 10%post-consumer recycled--the primo stuff.  However, rummaging through the piles upon piles of boxes was a daunting task.  It would dredge up both dust and memories of BSC.

I went through about three several-subject notebooks and gleaned almost a ream out of it.  I glanced briefly at some of my notes from class and some of my notes to myself.

Jesus, I'm glad I'm not her anymore.  I'm glad that I don't wallow.  I'm glad that I act.  I'm glad that I seek help when needed.  I'm glad that I learned to see deadlines as more than suggestions.  I'm glad that I fix things myself. 

It was a dusty, yet inspiring trip through my past.

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Date:2008-10-25 14:29
Subject:aggh! Update
Mood: calm

Things that have changed:

1. We have a new mini-schnauzer named Keifer (don't ask: he came pre-named). Katy is adjusting well.
2. When you adopt a pet, see if the shelter offers some sort of warranty. Keifer has cost us more in vet bills in the three months we've had him than Katy cost us in the first year.
3. I'm not seeing my in-laws until after the election.
4. I might stay at UA for graduate school. Their MFA program, if I can get in, is one of the best in the field. Damn damn damn.
5. Jack won't go to further training until summer of 2009.
6. Dad is being an all-around good father.
7. I have developed a taste for dirty martinis: the more olives, the better.

Things that have stayed the same:
1. We still love the dog(s).
2. Jack and I are the model relationship in our circle of friends.
3. We still work at Cypress Inn.
4. I'm still kicking ass and taking names in my creative writing classes.
5. I'm still a hardcore Democrat.

That is all.

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Date:2008-07-01 15:51
Subject:blarging USMC higher ups...racksafrackin' chain of command...I oughta...
Mood: stressed

For the third time, Jack was told that he would be leaving for School of Infantry in a few weeks.

For the third time, a few weeks passed with no word from his commanding officers.

For the third time, he called them.

And for the third time, they told him that he would not be going to SOI.

This would be frustrating on its own, but it will now likely keep Jack from going to school this fall.
Ergo, it is infuriating.

He's safe, I'm happy. It's hard to be forced to psych yourself up at the thought of living alone and steel yourself against the thought of deployment THREE BLOODY TIMES only to be told "nevermind."

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Date:2008-06-05 21:14
Subject:Katy might be getting a little brother or sister.
Mood: content

But probably a sister, since males tend to spray.

We are thinking about getting a cat. If my current health insurance covers allergy shots, we'll definitely adopt one. If allergy shots aren't covered, we'll have to wait until we have better insurance.

Jack has always been a cat person. He's said that Katy is the first dog he's actually liked. If we get a cat, it would of course be his responsibility (the grooming, the waste management, etc).

I've always been...okay with cats. I'm allergic. They make me sneeze! They make my eyes itch! Litter boxes! Spraying! Shedding! Yowling! Knocking things off shelves! Clawing furniture! Aaaiiiiieeee!!!!!!!!!!

But then again, I've known few responsible cat owners. Their cats, I love. I do like a lot about cats: independence, playfulness, etc. And as long as I take meds or allergy shots, I'll be able to breathe. There are even some breeds that don't shed as much.. Some individual cats don't like to climb stuff. We could get a spayed adult female. Jack would clean up after it---aaaaand you can train cats to use the toilet!

But then there's Katy....the Uberhunden. Miniature Schnauzers are terriers after all, and that means they come with a high prey drive. She doesn't like other dogs--she can actually be, um, hostile. Territorial and competitive. She loves humans and we love her, but she might see cats as larger squirrels.

I have no idea how to acclimate her to cats. I don't even know how to judge her reaction to a cat in her house--all the ones she's seen have either been outside or in friends' homes.

Any suggestions?

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Date:2008-05-05 00:41
Subject:I feel isolated

Sometimes I realize how disconnected I am from those closest to me.

I don't keep up with people. I check posts and facebook and myspace to make sure that friends are still alive.

I don't call my family often enough. It's like I chose Jack and myself--on the ship of family, I jumped into a lifeboat while the other passengers were drowning. I thought I was being a role model (actually, I probably didn't care by that time). I sometimes wonder what, if anything, I lost. I'm a hard person to love most of the time--I pick fights, make inappropriate jokes, get unbelievably impatient, etc.

I finally have a social life. I shouldn't feel this way.

I might delete this post.

Edit: Ignore the above. I was up way too late and feeling sorry for myself. I went to bed, woke up to a great guy and a great dog, worked at my decent job, hung out with great friends, and watched a few American Dad! episodes.

If I was where my 17 year old self thought I would be, I'd probably be like this all the time. ::shudders::
With acceptance comes peace. Unless you're in a pit of scorpions, or a Katrina refugee, or anywhere near Darfur, or dying of cancer, or morbidly obese, or addicted to heroin.

The point is, I'm cool. Got it out of my system.

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Date:2008-05-05 00:21
Subject:How I spent my weekend

Everyone must see Iron Man .

If you choose not to see this amazing movie, you and I will no longer be on speaking terms.

It makes you forget that Marvel is responsible for producing Electra . Jon Favreau's movie makes it all better.


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Date:2008-04-19 01:33
Subject:I really should be sleeping....

...but I can't.

I've been aimlessly wandering around the internet.  (Is that redundant?  Can you wander purposefully?)  I found the Jack Chick website (www.chick.com).  Pamphlets proselytizing in a comic book style.

Dungeons and Dragons are Satanic.  Mormons are racist and Satanic.  Evolution is Satanic.  The public school system is Satanic.  The Catholic Church is Satanic--you learn this in a lovely little tract titled "The Death Cookie".    

On the homefront, everyone is good.  Katy likes the less expensive food much more than Science Diet.  When she was on SD, she would wait until she was absolutely sure that we were not going to give her our food, sulk for a bit, beg some more, sniff at the garbage, sulk some more, and then eat.  It was around an hour between me filling her bowl and her eating.  Beneful, on the other hand, is gone within minutes.  So, schnauzers love cheese, dark chocolate, and Beneful.  I am happy to oblige two out of three.

Oh!  And my roses are blooming!  Yay!  I did nothing at all.  I told Jack that, if they look this beautiful with no human intervention, think of how they'd look if I took cultivating seriously--I'm great with houseplants (our bathroom is an open air terrarium during the winter).  He pointed out that not everything in life is a competition.  Oh, but it is.

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Date:2008-04-10 21:34
Mood: sick

For the first time in my adult life, I have voluntarily disconnected cable.

I've been reading, watching dvds, and playing on the computer. I feel so proactive in my sloth!

In other news, I have another sinus infection. When the doctor tells you to take antibiotics, take the antibiotics.

I'm sorry for neglecting my lj. I'm mainly on facebook now. However, I vow to at least check in monthly from now on.

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Date:2008-01-20 23:55
Subject:Hans and I talked politics Saturday night

I was under the mistaken impression that Mike Huckabee was harmless and even amusing:



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Date:2007-12-24 11:39
Subject:Xmas spirit
Mood: blank

Saturday night, I had a panic attack. I was out with people, but I think I got out of the situation under the radar.

Anyway, huge surprise, I slept fitfully that night. I awoke around 6 a.m. to Interfaith Voices on NPR. It was a really fascinating discussion on the Biblical Christmas story, comparing Matthew and Luke's versions. They bring up thematic elements and the importance of the political context of Christ's birth.


It's interesting.

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Date:2007-11-11 23:06
Subject:Jack might be deployed.
Mood: distressed

Jack has a chance to "catch up" with his unit in Iraq. He would go to School of Infantry in a few weeks, return in January, spend some time with me and his family, then head off to the war zone.


1. He'd return with the unit, which would be early. If he waits and attends SOI next semester, he'd have to spend the full seven months overseas. Studies done by the armed forces have shown that the longer the deployment, the greater the likelihood of injury.

2. The commander of this unit has yet to lose a marine. Also, Jack knows some of the guys.

3. There are major financial incentives. He'd get a big pay increase and a generous life insurance pay out should the unthinkable happen.


1. He'd be in a war zone.

2. I'm too young to be a widow.

I know that he could die in a car crash tomorrow. Or he could choke to death. He could be stabbed, shot, or beaten to death by a civilian. I just want him to stay stateside.

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Date:2007-11-04 19:37
Subject:Fine, thanks. And you?
Mood: good

I still have to take 102, but I might be able to get the professor I like. I'll look at the next few years as a chance to gain minors.

My car was injured in a tragic one-car accident last week. It didn't look serious at first and I was able to drive home, but the next day I saw that it was leaking fluid.

"Oh no! That must be coolant! I need a new radiator," I thought.
As I pulled up to the tow truck, I noticed that the steering was rather stiff. I mentioned that and the fluid to tow truck guy, who posited that it was power steering fluid. I gathered, going by the reactions of car-savvy friends, that such a leak was much worse than a coolant leak or broken radiator.

The repairs are going to cost around two grand and take over a week. My copay is $250, and I get a rental car for the duration. Comp and collision coverage is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, by the way.

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Date:2007-10-31 17:02
Subject:Keats birthday
Mood: aggravated

I'm reading Why Good People do Bad Things: Understanding our Darker Selves by James Hollis, PhD. It's very interesting so far.

"Consider the convenience of knowing who the enmy is, always--if the enemy is there, they are not here, so I have no burden of consciousness, no obligation of self-examination." (p. 15)

I've just found out that because Eng 102 at BSC in 2001 had a different focus than Eng 102 at UA in 2007, I must retake Eng 102. They threw me a bone and said that I could take Eng 103--it combines 102 with 101, which I am currently taking because they refused to let me register for anything else. Those _______ing ________s are beginning to grind me down. It is complete bullshit that I have to retake a class in which I earned a B. Aren't classes that you already passed not covered by financial aid? For godsakes, I'm halfway through my writing minor!

Sorry, I'm still angry. I see my advisor again tomorrow.

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